fidel santos

i never really known that i can really hurt someone who seems to really love me so much the way i love before..... is it really selfish of me to letting him court me when i know that i can never really like him the way he like me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
at first it was pity of him pity of me.... ive been there and i know it hurt really painful to feel and i guess that made me do that.....
i really tired my best to raelly like him as possible but how his aggressiveness attack.... i cant really bare..... and i realize that i can never really fool my self to like him.....
i really feel guilty of what im doing to him...
he smokes and i dont really go for guys who smokes and i thought maybe i could get away with this make him give up it for me.... we got a deal if he smokes again its over between us... but i think he really can do it for me.... so i told him that he can smoke again
now i thought he can do it again because im gonna tell him unfortunately that i cant be with him anymore
so... he wont be mad to me about making him give it up..... now im really scared of facing him and tell him that we cant be together because i remember when teresa told me that hes been rejecting by everyone who he court and thats the one who really made me stay with him i know that .... it really hurts ....
but now i cant pretend that we feel the same way because i really dont....
i felt really guilty because i really know that he really likes me .... he really loves me....???
i really feel his concern about me ....

what should i do????
im really torn...
he knows that i dont really like him that much but he ignores it and everytime i kept on whinning on it that i really dont care whose his with
or what hes doing
or if hes with someone
i dont freaking care about that stuff... i told him that he can stop if hes tired of me its only going on for a short while and i know that he can recover from me his 21 t first i always call him kuya because he really are older than me...
when i told him that if he cant give up on the cigarettes its fine with me he said what if he cant i said lets forget about each other anyway i didnt work to have a boyfriend and im not really in a hurry to have a bf....
if he cant give it up lets parts ways....
he said ok hell change... i said if he really cant just say it.... its over
he says easy for me to say... because he knows that i dont have something for him....

what do i do ?????????? how can i make him stop ???
what tell him.... can i really handle his coldness and his angry... his really nice and caring but its not enough isnt it.....?????????????


i am so sorry for doing this to you .....
im really sorry....